Man, I have had a truly crap week. It has been full of defeat and disappointment, uncertainly and second guessing my mission. And it ended with a mistake that sent me into an existential crisis type of downward spiral. Now, it is 3 am and I am awake questioning what the hell I am doing with my life. All from a decision that was made in half of a second.
And as I sit here, confidence rapidly unraveling, I can’t help but think that I look a little silly at this point. I am wallowing. I am feeling sorry for myself. I am wasting time. In the dark I start to gather myself and try to find some shred of a takeaway from this. And slowly, one word begins to resonate–opportunity. The chance to grow and change. An aha moment amongst the wreckage.
One of my favorite quotes is “If life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. And if you get up, you can stand up. And if you stand up, you can fight for your dream once again”. This must be what the knock down looks like. Oof. But it is also my chance to land on my back after the fall. I made a mistake and I have to pay the consequences for that mistake, but it does not make up who I am or what I can accomplish in this life. It is something I did. And now it is a lesson I have the chance to learn.
See, mistakes are just that. We are all very human and mistakes are inevitable. On our journey to greatness, we sometimes feel invincible. Those are the recordable moments. Those are the sharable moments, the moments that we photograph and post on social media. What we often times don’t see are the 3 am fall apart moments. The mistakes that we wish we could hide. The moments that are hard and embarrassing and scary. But those moments are an important part of the journey. Those moments are what separate people who will hide in that place of self-doubt from those that have the courage to learn from it.
Here and now, alone in the dark, is where I have the chance build another piece of my character. What I have done is done, what I will do with the aftermath is my choice. And I am choosing to make this an opportunity. This mistake isn’t me. It is my chance to become a better me. And I fully intend to take it.